Hello reader (I fear there's only one of you, maybe two if I'm lucky). In 141 days I will be headed to my happy place, Walt Disney World. I will be going with my little sister for 8 beautiful days, and we will have 5 day Parkhopper passes. Although I've gone to Disney World approximately 20 times starting at age 1.5, this trip will be a little bit different.
This time, my goal will be to do all of the worst attractions in Disney World. Yep, you heard that right. I will be doing all the attractions that most people find to be boring or not as good as the original version or just horribly themed or any other version of "worst."
Now, obviously, the worst attraction in Disney World is still a Disney attraction - that is to day, not TORTUROUS. (After all, bad chocolate is still chocolate.) But I never said I was going on the BAD rides at Disney for there are none. The term "bad" implies an absolute, a clear cut black and white dearth of quality. I will be using the term "worst" here because it is comparative; not everyone will agree that the Tiki Room Under New Management is absolutely horrible bar none, but I think most of us can agree that it is certainly no Soarin'. There are better attractions and there are worse attractions. For this trip, my focus will be on the latter.
Thusly, below is my (in progress) itinerary for the worst attractions in each park. This is based partly on the general consensus I picked up from the dozens of Disney podcasts I listen to and Disney blogs I read daily, as well as partly from my own personal experience and preferences. Almost all of them I haven't tried since I was a young child (when I was too young to call the shots and more easily entertained by poor story/theming). Some of them I've never ever gone on before.
- Tiki Room
- Stitch's Great Escape
- Swiss Family Robinson Tree House
- Impressions de France (does anyone actually care about circle vision anymore? other than as a break from the Florida heat?)
- The Spirit of Norway (for once I'm not going to sneak out after Maelstrom)
- Journey Into Imagination (if I can stomach it)
TBD (Suggestions welcome)
TBD (Suggestions welcome)
Now I know that not everyone is going to agree that these are the worst attractions on property - I'm sure some of you are saying "Hey I LOVE Journey Into Imagination!" But, 1) please put down the crack pipe you're clearly smoking and 2) deciding what is the worst and what is not the worst is an inherently subjective query. So if you care to continue to read this, you'll have to just accept that this is my personal list of the perceived-worst attractions on property with significant help from my podcasts and blogs.
Why am I doing this? I don't know. Maybe because I usually tour the parks by trying to squeeze in all of my favorite (and I'll-ride-if-the-wait-is-short) rides and want to mix things up by doing all the things I always always skip. Maybe because I want to do ALL the attractions in WDW at least once before I die. Maybe because I'm wondering if they're really as terrible as I remember and my podcasters and bloggers so vehemently assert. In any event, I will be updating periodically about how the rides went, what my plans are, and whether I could in fact force myself to ride Journey Into Imagination 3.0. Thanks for reading and I'll see ya real soon!