Well, it started out as a Disney trip planning/report blog. Then it became primarily Disney memories, solo trip reports, and occasionally cranky opinions. P.S. No one reads this blog anyway. What are you doing here?
- Swiss Family Robinson Tree House
- Astro Orbiter
- Hall of Presidents
- Tom Sawyer Island
Epcot
- Impressions de France
- The Spirit of Norway
- Journey Into Imagination (we'll see)
- Circle of Life: An Environmental Fable
- Reflections of China (I'm sorry, I just can't get excited about this pavilion & find the Circlevision films dull)
Hollywood Studios
- Sounds Dangerous (if it's open)
- Journey into Narnia
- Great Movie Ride
Animal Kingdom
- Rafiki's Planet Watch
Has anyone else noticed how uneven the balance of the "worst" attractions are so far? MK is clearly in first place! Is it just because my brain has blocked out the bad attractions in HS and AK? Or is it that AK just doesn't have enough rides yet to have many that suck? Or is MK just not the park for me?
I feel I owe it to my followers (read: no one) to explain my serious concerns regarding Journey Into Imagination. When I first had this idea to ride all of the worst* rides in the park, it didn’t occur to me that that would mean having to ride the MOST HORRIBLY AWFUL TERRIBLE PUTRID RIDE EVER IN EXISTENCE: the current version of Journey into Imagination (to be referred to hereinafter as JII 3.0).
Let’s briefly recount the history of JII: I’ve been visiting Disney World since 1983 when I was 18 months old. By this time, Epcot had been open for about a year. My favorite ride in that park, and possibly in all of Disney World, was Journey into Imagination. It was BEAUTIFUL. Sponsored by Kodak, it was colorful and artistic. The Dreamfinder and Figment were charming and extremely likeable. To this day, One Little Spark is one of my favorite Disney songs. I remember admiring the beautiful mural on the walls as we waited in the seemingly endless line to get on this family-friendly dark ride. And at the end of your gorgeous journey, you got to play in Image Works. We spent hours there. I specifically remember the room where you could make different colored bubbles appear on big screens high on the wall by pressing certain buttons before you. I remember the room where you would stand against a wall and right as the ticker stopped, jump up in a crazy movement and then after the flash, your silly-shaped shadow would be temporarily preserved on the wall like a photograph. I remember the room with the colorful hexagons on the floor. We stepped on them and each hexagon made a different musical sound – dancing around on the shapes created a symphony of percussion and brass. I remember using a "pen" to color in pictures of Figment on a computer screen. And then, of course, there were the giant, pool-table-sized tables of pins. We made countless handprints on those things. It was fabulous.
Then, in 1998, it closed.
What opened thereafter was, to put it succinctly, an abomination. I can’t think of a less imaginative attraction that could be put in a pavilion allegedly dedicated to imagination. Many, many people agreed and the seemingly-endless line for this ride evaporated. Disney took note, so in 2002 they renovated the ride for a third time.
Now, you would think that after such a sharp loss of interest and enjoyment by its customers in JII 2.0 that they would simply bring back the ever-popular and beautifully executed JII 1.0. But no. No, what they gave us was a step up from 2.0 but still a very very far fall from the original flavor. Indeed, in the Imagination pavilion, for years we used to drink “Cristal”. Then they started serving us “Two-BuckChuck”. Now they’re serving us a “$6 Pinot”. It’s just barely drinkable but I’m sorry, I miss the Cristal. I was used to the Cristal. I want the Cristal back.
I’ve ridden JII 3.0 once, in 2006. Immediately upon disembarking, I vowed never to return. Even though I still have an affinity for that pavilion (which has only increased since the return of Captain Eo to replace the regretful Honey I Shrunk the Audience), I won’t contribute to increasing the attendance numbers of that particular attraction. The less people who ride it, the less valuable it becomes to Disney, the more likely the company will take notice and possibly renovate for a fourth time (hopefully, this time, to learn its lesson and bring back the original). I am a peaceful objector, and it seems most Epcot visitors are doing the same as I hear the wait for this ride is historically 0 minutes. But now, if I want to be true to my goal of riding all the worst rides of Disney, it would be heresy to skip over the worst of the worst would it not?
I don’t know if I’ll manage to sack up and stomach riding this Disney travesty. I’m torn between not wanting to let Disney think this ride is worth keeping around for one more minute, and not fully completing my new goal to ride all I guess we’ll see which side wins out in the end.
* For the purposes of this blog, “worst” can mean poorly-executed, age-inappropriate, or just plain old boring. In the case of this particular attraction it means dreadful, atrocious, bad, shoddy, substandard, and simply abysmal.
Hello reader (I fear there's only one of you, maybe two if I'm lucky). In 141 days I will be headed to my happy place, Walt Disney World. I will be going with my little sister for 8 beautiful days, and we will have 5 day Parkhopper passes. Although I've gone to Disney World approximately 20 times starting at age 1.5, this trip will be a little bit different.
This time, my goal will be to do all of the worst attractions in Disney World. Yep, you heard that right. I will be doing all the attractions that most people find to be boring or not as good as the original version or just horribly themed or any other version of "worst."
Now, obviously, the worst attraction in Disney World is still a Disney attraction - that is to day, not TORTUROUS. (After all, bad chocolate is still chocolate.) But I never said I was going on the BAD rides at Disney for there are none. The term "bad" implies an absolute, a clear cut black and white dearth of quality. I will be using the term "worst" here because it is comparative; not everyone will agree that the Tiki Room Under New Management is absolutely horrible bar none, but I think most of us can agree that it is certainly no Soarin'. There are better attractions and there are worse attractions. For this trip, my focus will be on the latter.
Thusly, below is my (in progress) itinerary for the worst attractions in each park. This is based partly on the general consensus I picked up from the dozens of Disney podcasts I listen to and Disney blogs I read daily, as well as partly from my own personal experience and preferences. Almost all of them I haven't tried since I was a young child (when I was too young to call the shots and more easily entertained by poor story/theming). Some of them I've never ever gone on before.
Magic Kingdom
- Tiki Room
- Stitch's Great Escape
- Swiss Family Robinson Tree House
Epcot
- Impressions de France (does anyone actually care about circle vision anymore? other than as a break from the Florida heat?)
- The Spirit of Norway (for once I'm not going to sneak out after Maelstrom)
- Journey Into Imagination (if I can stomach it)
Hollywood Studios
TBD (Suggestions welcome)
Animal Kingdom
TBD (Suggestions welcome)
Now I know that not everyone is going to agree that these are the worst attractions on property - I'm sure some of you are saying "Hey I LOVE Journey Into Imagination!" But, 1) please put down the crack pipe you're clearly smoking and 2) deciding what is the worst and what is not the worst is an inherently subjective query. So if you care to continue to read this, you'll have to just accept that this is my personal list of the perceived-worst attractions on property with significant help from my podcasts and blogs.
Why am I doing this? I don't know. Maybe because I usually tour the parks by trying to squeeze in all of my favorite (and I'll-ride-if-the-wait-is-short) rides and want to mix things up by doing all the things I always always skip. Maybe because I want to do ALL the attractions in WDW at least once before I die. Maybe because I'm wondering if they're really as terrible as I remember and my podcasters and bloggers so vehemently assert. In any event, I will be updating periodically about how the rides went, what my plans are, and whether I could in fact force myself to ride Journey Into Imagination 3.0. Thanks for reading and I'll see ya real soon!
